I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that most women hate their bodies. There is not one woman I know that can't rattle off a laundry list of complaints about her physical appearance. But this needs to stop. NOW.
I know for us adults, learning to love who we are on the outside is going to be nigh on impossible. Most of us don't even like who we are on the inside. I don't actually expect you to change. However, I believe we have a duty to our children to teach them to respect their bodies.
My friend's six-year old daughter told me that she was fat. That if she didn't thin out, boys wouldn't like her when she was older. This sweet, adorable, healthy body weight angel has already been exposed to self-defeating, self-deprecating ideals of self judgement. She will likely grow up with very little self-esteem because she's already gauging her self worth to the thinness of other girls and whether or not boys like her.
Someone had to have said this to her. Or she overheard a comment and drew her own conclusions. Or maybe, she saw it or heard it from a media outlet. No matter what the original trigger was, this type of talk about ourselves and others has to stop or we'll infect generation after generation with self-loathing and body obsession.
Instead of looking at all the things "wrong" with your body, look at all the things right. For example, my stretch marks are not imperfections. They're battle scars from when I carried the loves of my life to the deliverance of theirs. The same goes with my C-Section scar. It's proof that I loved the little life growing inside me so much, that I would allow mutilation of my own body to bring it into this world. What do your imperfections say about you? Do your saggy breasts tell the stories of breast-fed little angels? Do they showcase the many years of wisdom you've been available to impart knowledge on all those willing to listen? Do you have a few extra pounds that pay tribute to focusing on your children so much that you only had time for a quick, unhealthy snack?
Our bodies' imperfections are not really that at all. They are the tellers of our life story and often play part in the stories of our surrounding families. Being a mom is hard. Our bodies might pay the price for that, but they shouldn't be hated for doing it. And we definitely shouldn't be teaching a new generation that it's okay to hate themselves.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Is this you?
1. Do you work a standard full-time job, yet get an out of the box dinner on the table at least 5 nights a week?
2. Is your house in the realm of clean?
3. Do you have children?
4. Do you have bragging rights on all of your children for one reason or another?
5. Do you find time to shower and spend actual time on your hair and make-up every morning?
6. Do you consistently wear clean and stylish clothing?
7. Do you work out, are naturally thin, or both?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, I might hate you. You're one of those "Super Moms". The kind that (whether you mean to or not) make all us normal moms look like underachieving crazies.
I fantasize about all of those things, but cannot seem to make them happen for more than 5 days in a row. Tops. I consistently pity my husband because I know he would love nothing more than to come home from a long day of work to a clean house. But unfortunately, the kids beat him home by two hours and have it completely destroyed long before he leaves the confines of his constricting cubicle.
I pity my children because I'm still unshowered, in my pajamas, with my naturally curly hair doing things that no amount of hair spray and styling gel could ever repeat when their buses come to pick them up. Their driver insists on waving to every parent or caregiver (to prove we know the kids are leaving) so it's not just the driver and school mates that see me, but all the other moms on the street too. (Luckily for me, none of them are Super Mom's.)
Oh, Super Moms, I don't know how you do it. But I spend a lot of time wondering if your lives are really fulfilled or if you are just better at hiding your crazy. Is it all superficial? Or do you really have it all figured out? If so, will you share the secret with the rest of us? We're drowning out here.
2. Is your house in the realm of clean?
3. Do you have children?
4. Do you have bragging rights on all of your children for one reason or another?
5. Do you find time to shower and spend actual time on your hair and make-up every morning?
6. Do you consistently wear clean and stylish clothing?
7. Do you work out, are naturally thin, or both?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, I might hate you. You're one of those "Super Moms". The kind that (whether you mean to or not) make all us normal moms look like underachieving crazies.
I fantasize about all of those things, but cannot seem to make them happen for more than 5 days in a row. Tops. I consistently pity my husband because I know he would love nothing more than to come home from a long day of work to a clean house. But unfortunately, the kids beat him home by two hours and have it completely destroyed long before he leaves the confines of his constricting cubicle.
I pity my children because I'm still unshowered, in my pajamas, with my naturally curly hair doing things that no amount of hair spray and styling gel could ever repeat when their buses come to pick them up. Their driver insists on waving to every parent or caregiver (to prove we know the kids are leaving) so it's not just the driver and school mates that see me, but all the other moms on the street too. (Luckily for me, none of them are Super Mom's.)
Oh, Super Moms, I don't know how you do it. But I spend a lot of time wondering if your lives are really fulfilled or if you are just better at hiding your crazy. Is it all superficial? Or do you really have it all figured out? If so, will you share the secret with the rest of us? We're drowning out here.
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